Over there years I have come to realize one thing. The majority of relationships ministry families develop are only surface level friendships. The friendships last as long as you continue to minister at one specific location. Once the decision to move is complete and the last goodbye is said the friendship makes a drastic change. The cards in the mail, email/texts, hello's in Wal-Mart and occasional meetings dwindle to a minimal. After a while you start to ask yourself:
- Were they ever friendships?
- Did we do something wrong?
- Was this relationship built on what we could do for the church?
- Was I even suppose to be there?
- Did they really mean what they said?
Questions like these flood a person's mind. As a ministry family you put yourself out there. When you have a family each member needs friendships at their level. I want to know that my wife and kids could find people that can listen, share and spend time with each other outside of church. I want them to feel a part of something. I want them to be a part of THE church.
I am sure as you read this you become somewhat detached from the words. Your immediate response is to state your church would never do that. Just for a moment though grasp on. Can this be happening in the "modern" church?
To be honest, I have become somewhat calloused to friendships in the church. I develop friendships at surface level. I don't expect much that way it won't hurt when the friendships end. It works pretty good but every so often something will get through that calloused heart. I will soften up and think to myself this time will be different. This specific person is a lot like me. They know how I feel and we can share stories. It feels great but when God moves you on your scarred again. You knew it would happen and you are prepared to minimize the damage.
Tonight I began thinking about these things. God reminded me that true friendships in ministry are hard to find. The passage below shows Paul writing about ministry relationships.
"9 Timothy, please come as soon as you can. 10 Demas has deserted me because he loves the things of this life and has gone to Thessalonica. Crescens has gone to Galatia, and Titus has gone to Dalmatia. 11 Only Luke is with me. Bring Mark with you when you come, for he will be helpful to me in my ministry. 12 I sent Tychicus to Ephesus. 13 When you come, be sure to bring the coat I left with Carpus at Troas. Also bring my books, and especially my papers. (2 Timothy 4:9-13)
19 Give my greetings to Priscilla and Aquila and those living in the household of Onesiphorus. 20 Erastus stayed at Corinth, and I left Trophimus sick at Miletus. 21 Do your best to get here before winter. Eubulus sends you greetings, and so do Pudens, Linus, Claudia, and all the brothers and sisters. (2 Timothy 4:19-21)
At the end of Paul's life he had few people that stuck with him through it all. There were those that left, some that were probably surface level and others that were mere acquaintances. This shows me that it is going to happen. Friendships will be lost, but when you do find the real ones ...hold on. Hold on tight.
In all our years of ministry we have never had a place to love us so much as Poplar Spring. Once we returned this hard heart of mine has begun to soften again. My family is beginning to develop (or rekindle) friendships. These friendships begun years ago and have not disappeared. I pray that your church will do the same.
No comments:
Post a Comment